Sony’s announcement of a female “spider” movie was one of the best things to hit the headlines for Spider-Man fans around the world, however, this did not stop Sony from releasing a terrible film. Out of all the movies to ever be written, filmed, and released, Madame Web is without a doubt the worst of the worst.
The movie is based around Marvel Comics character Cassie Webb, played by Dakota Johnson, and her origin story as Madame Web. While trying to understand her new powers, Cassie must protect three teenagers, Julia Carpenter, played by Sydney Sweeney, Anya Corazon, played by Isabela Merced, and Mattie Franklin, played by Celeste O’Connor, from the evil “spider-person,” Ezekiel, played by Tahar Rahim.
Upon my entry into the theater, the ticket-person tried his best to steer me away from the movie, initiating the reaction with, “please don’t be here to see Madame Web.” Halfway through the film the same guy walked into the theater and checked in on us, making sure we didn’t die from second-hand embarrassment from the “movie” our eyes were subjected to.
Movie director S.J. Clarkson was clearly not in the right mind making the movie. Production was so lazy that the filmmakers reused a clip from Spider-Man 2. All of the cinematography was horrendous, from the not-so-special special effects to the cheap automated dialogue replacement (ADR). During almost every scene with Ezekiel, his dialogue didn’t match his lip movements.
Speaking of dialogue, the dialogue throughout the entire movie was terrible. While watching the movie, it was challenging to not laugh at the obviously corny and uninspiring lines. After having her life saved, getting kidnapped, and driven into the woods all by Cassie, Julia feels the need to take a dramatic pause and ask, “can we trust you,” as if she has a choice. The whole scene just screams lousy writing.
Another funny moment was when a pregnant Constance Webb, played by Kerry Bishé, is in the rainforest looking for a spider. Constance states, “she’s [the baby] trying her best to keep me from working, but I’m not going to let her do that, not when I’m this close.” Not only was Bishé’s acting subpar in this scene, but the dialogue sounded extremely unnatural.
One of the best aspects of the movie just so happens to be poorly executed just like the rest, the antagonist. Tahar Rahim was a good visual cast for the character, however, the dialogue and his acting failed to deliver.
Most of Rahim’s acting was choppy, similar to that of a Tubi actor. During Rahim’s scene’s the director glorified their poor camera work with angles that simply didn’t match the person speaking.
One of the most confusing aspects of the movies was the plot. Why would you give kids who are being hunted by a superhuman to unqualified friends who have absolutely no powers? How does a villain with super strength and capabilities to endure two direct hits from cars get crushed by a Pepsi-Cola sign?
Not only is the plot confusing, but the most confusing part is the fact that there were no webs in a movie about “Spider-Men” and “Spider-Women?” It’s insane how a company could fumble a movie with such potential this terribly. Madame Web is the literal definition of hot garbage.
